Online Dating Etiquette
A plethora of online dating and matchmaking agencies have emerged with this new convenient way of looking for love.
Unfortunately, standards of honesty tend to slip when using this faceless method of communication.
Regrettably, men’s manners have regressed behind this shield of anonymity and women have reacted by raising barriers of caution during online dating.
The men have then become craftier in their deception and women more wary.
Nevertheless, deceptions do still occur and both sexes are guilty of this.
Consequently, a new set of ‘rules’ have evolved, to protect women in particular, from nasty experiences and to make online dating more friendly, civilized and safe for them.
But sometimes men are the victims too.
If you are new to online dating the following will help you to participate with dignity and confidence.
If you are experienced in online dating you will recognise the need for establishing this code of online dating etiquette.
Rudeness can never be justified. Remember your manners
No profanity. Save it for your boozing buddies
This is not a game. You will be dealing with real people with real feelings
Engage in cyber searching only if you are seriously searching for a friend or partner.
Clearly state your intentions. Do not do it for kicks. It’s cruel
A search for ‘online dating agencies’ produces thousands of online agencies.
Many allow a limited free trial period.
Others will accept your profile and allow you to view profiles of advertisers free of charge.
It is only when you wish to contact a potential candidate that a subscription fee is required.
Test drive a few, up to the point of having to subscribe, before you settle for one or more to ‘subscribe’ to.
Reject any websites that mess you around with links that mislead and deceive you and use hard-sell tactics.
E-mail address & Screen Name
To prevent cyber abuse, establish a separate e-mail address for online dating
Do not get too slick with your online name (screen name). It could send the wrong impression and turn up a poor match
This is your advertisement. Be honest in your profile from the start to the end.
Do not lie. You will eventually be found out
Make sure you fill in the Profile Form fully and truthfully or you will be frustrated with unsuitable candidates wasting your time and theirs
Post recent photos to prevent the shock of being discovered to be a geriatric instead of an expected hunk or spunk
Avoid sloppy spelling & sloppy grammar.
You will come across as lazy or uneducated
The response may be by e-mail or online chat
If you respond by e-mail and it is ignored try no more than once more
Remember at all times to treat each other with dignity and respect
If you are going to respond to an ad - be sure that you match the required criteria before you respond – e.g., age range, description, religion, location, interests and so on
Do not respond to an ad if you are not genuinely interested.
Put your energy into responding to a good prospect
If you have responded to an ad and the reply is a rejection, that’s life. Move on….cheerfully.
You are one step closer to your love match
If the response is from a person clearly outside your stated parameters, they are wasting your time. Ignore it
Always reply to genuinely decent responses, even if the answer is ‘No’.
Always be polite and kind, especially if the answer is ‘No’
Never be too busy to respond appropriately
Reply as soon as possible. Make it a priority.
People are individuals, so, personalise your replies
Aha, you have received a promising response or two and you are going to reply
You are now participating in Online Dating (e-mail or chat)
Start with a friendly greeting
End with a friendly goodbye
Use gentle humour if it is part of your personality
Punctuate your statements with – (smile) (frown) (beaming) (thinking) or :-)
Keep it brief, relevant, light, breezy and interesting
Allow the communication to flow
Do not get personal
Do not trifle with anyone’s emotions
Allow the friendship time to develop. Do not be pushy
Do not demand anything
When ready, ask, do not push for a phone number or address. It might even be volunteered, if you are lucky
You might talk on the phone a couple of times (the original online dating)
At some point when you both feel it is time to meet in person do so
Vacillating? Remember, if you are not fast; you are last
Decide on a time and public place for a coffee and chat
Agree to keep it short – say for about an hour
Arrive separately and leave separately
Do not commit to anything until you meet face to face – you could regret it
You are about to meet Face to Face
Now it’s time to brush up on some face to face
to see you through this important phase in setting the stage for a successful relationship
Be sure to click on the above 'dating etiquette' link and read it carefully before you meet
Tell someone where you will be
During the date pay attention for inconsistencies in conversation
Have a check-in time with a friend
After the Date
The polite thing to do is to make contact again in a couple of days to thank the other for the opportunity of meeting
If the date was not promising, agree that the experience was worth while but that the chemistry is missing. Do not take offense.
We each have our own expectations of what we want in a soul mate. It just cannot be forced.
Wish each other luck and move on to your next prospect
There is no point in being rude, critical or personal
If there was a mutual spark worth pursuing - sound it out and arrange to meet again soon
Did you find your Perfect Match?
No? It’s ok to date more than one prospect online or offline until you do. Be open and talk about it
Once you have found your ‘perfect’ match discontinue your ad by removing your profile promptly
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